The Subtle Power of Spiritual AbuseRecognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church. |
The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse was published
in 1991. It became an instant classic—a reference book which is at
once readable, moving and helpful in a practically spiritual way.
It has been of great benefit in my life and in the lives of many
of my friends. I was delighted to discover in my research on the
Internet that The Subtle Power appears on virtually every
recommended reading list for Spiritual Abuse. It is also the most
frequently quoted and referenced book on the subject on the Internet.
What follows is a summary of a small part of the book. If you find this at all helpful, buy your own copy of the book.
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The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse is:
to the weary and heavy laden, deeply loved by God, but because of spiritual abuse, find that the Good News has somehow become the bad news. |
The book is structured according to the following plan.
Part I: Spiritual Abuse and its Victims
Part II: Abusive Leaders and Why They Are Trapped
Part III: Post-Abuse Recovery
Epilogue
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What is “Spiritual Abuse?” |
It is for |
“Spiritual abuse can occur when a leader uses his or her spiritual
position to control or dominate another person.” (p.20)
“Spiritual abuse can also occur when spirituality is used to make others live up to a ‘spiritual standard’.” (p.21) Spiritual abuse occurs when shame is “used in an attempt to get someone to support a belief, or…to fend off legitimate questions”. (p.22) “When your words and actions tear down another, or attack or weaken a person's standing as a Christian—to gratify you, your position or your beliefs, while at the same time weakening or harming another—that is spiritual abuse.” (p.23) “There are spiritual systems in which…the members are there to meet the needs of the leaders… These leaders attempt to find fulfillment through the religious performance of the very people whom they are there to serve and build. This is an inversion of the body of Christ. It is spiritual abuse.” (p.23) “The Christian life begins with freedom from dead works, from religious sytems and from all human attempts to ‘please God’. It’s time for many of us to shake off the religious sytems and expectations we’ve created, and return to that joyful freedom in Christ.” (p.26)
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Identifying the Abusive System |
1. Power-Posturing | |
You were
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“Power-posturing simply means that leaders spend a lot of time focused
on their own authority and reminding others of it, as well. This
is necessary because their spiritual authority isn’t real—based
on genuine godly character—it is postured.” (p.63)
“Those who are in positions of true leadership demonstrate authority, spiritual power, and credibility by their lives and message.” (p.64) “As Romans 13:1 says, There is no authority except from God. Being hired or elected to a spiritual position, talking the loudest, or giving the most does not give someone authority.” (p.64)
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2. Performance Preoccupation |
“Among my
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“If obedience and service is flowing out of you as a result of your
dependence on God alone, you won’t keep track of it with an eye
toward reward, you’ll just do it. But if you’re preoccupied with
whether you’ve done enough to please God, then you’re not looking at
Him, you’re looking at your own works. And you’re also concerned
about who else might be looking at you, evaluating you. Why would
anyone keep track of their ‘godly’ behaviour unless they were trying
to earn spiritual points because of it?” (p.65)
“Are obedience and submission important? Without question. This can be seen in Romans 13:1…1 Peter 5:5…and Hebrews 13:17. To bring balance, however, we must add to these verses an equally important passage. Consider the words of Peter and the other apostles in Acts 5:29: ‘We must obey God rather than men.’ Notice that Peter is saying this to the religious leaders he was disobeying. Out of context, obedience to leaders looks like good theology. Add the larger context, and you will see that it is only appropriate to obey and submit to leadership when their authority is from God and their stance is consistent with His.” (p.66) “In Romans 12:2 Paul says, ‘Do not be conformed… but be transformed… ’. In a performance-based church or family, that verse might be applied like this: ‘Our church or leader is right; we have a truer, purer ‘word’ from God than others. Therefore, we must adhere to our formula or brand of Christianity as hard and fast as possible—so we won’t become like those out there who don’t think as we do. If I do not live up to all I’ve been taught here, I will be letting God down.’ This orientation squeezes people from the outside in. They are not transformed, they are conformed.” (p.66) |
3. Unspoken Rules |
“Woe to you, |
“‘You know we must never disagree with the pastor on his
sermons—and if you do, you will never be trusted and never be
allowed to minister in any capacity in this church.’ In this case,
the unspoken rule is: Do not disagree with the church
authorities —especially the pastor—or your loyalty will be suspect.
Rules like this remain unspoken, because examining them in the
light of mature dialogue would instantly reveal how illogical,
unhealthy and anti-Christian they are. So silence becomes the fortress
wall of protection, shielding the pastor’s power position from scrutiny
or challenge.” (p.67)
In some churches there is “an unwritten and unspoken rule that said, ‘It is better to be nice than honest’.” “If you speak about the problem out loud, you are the problem.” “The truth is, when people talk about problems out loud, they don't cause them, they simply expose them.” (p.68) “Too many churches communicate this kind of shaming message: ‘The problem is not that your boundaries were crossed and violated, the problem is that you talked. If you would not have made such a big deal, everything would still be fine.’ If a person accepts that message, they will stop talking. The real problem, however, is that if a Christian who feels violated stops talking, then the perpetrator will never be held accountable for his behaviour.” (p.69)
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4. Lack of Balance |
“Come to Me,
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Johnson and VanVonderen identify two extremes, both of which produce
an unbalanced approach to living out the Christian life—Extreme
Objectivism and Extreme Subjectivism.
“The first extreme is an empirical approach to life, which elevates objective truth to the exclusion of valid subjective experience.” (p.69) “This approach to spirituality creates a system in which authority is based upon the level of education and intellectual capacity alone, rather than on intimacy with God, obedience and sensitivity to his Spirit.” (p.70) “The other manifestation of lack of balance is seen in an extremely subjective approach to Christian life. What is true is decided on the basis of feelings and experiences, giving more weight to them than what the Bible declares.” (p.70) “Even further, we believe it is dishonest—even dangerous—simply to receive and act upon a spiritual directive because you are ‘supposed to be submissive’, or because someone is ‘in authority’. In the end, God is the One before whom we must all stand, the one to whom we must answer.” (p.71)
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They tie up |
5. Paranoia
“In a place where authority is grasped and legislated, not simply demonstrated, persecution sensitivity builds a case for keeping everything within the system. Why? Because of the evil, dangerous, or unspiritual people outside of the system who are trying to weaken or destroy ‘us’. This mentality builds a strong wall or bunker around the abusive system, isolates the abusers from scrutiny and accountability, and makes it more difficult for people to leave—because they will be outsiders, too.” (p.73) “Ironically, Jesus and Paul both warned that one of the worst dangers to the flock was from wolves in the house (Matthew 10:16; Acts 20:29-30).” (p.74) |
6. Misplaced Loyalty
“The next characteristic of spiritually abusive systems is that a misplaced sense of loyalty is fostered and even demanded. We’re not talking about loyalty to Christ, but about loyalty to a given organization, church, or leader.” (p.76) “A common way this is accomplished is by setting up a system where disloyalty to or disagreement with the leadership is construed as the same thing as disobeying God. Questioning leaders is equal to questioning God. After all, the leader is the authority, and authority is always right. This causes people to misplace their loyalty in a leader, a church or an organization.” (p.76) “There are three factors that come into play here, adding up to misplaced loyalty. First, leadership projects a ‘we alone are right’ mentality, which permeates the system. Members must remain in the system if they want to be ‘safe,’ or to stay ‘on good terms’ with God, or not to be viewed as wrong or ‘backslidden.’
The second factor that brings about misplaced loyalty is the use of
‘scare tactics.’ For example: The third method of calling forth misplaced loyalty is the threat of humiliation. This is done by publicly shaming, exposing, or threatening to remove people from the group. In the abusive system, it is the fear of being exposed, humiliated or removed that insures your proper allegiance, and insulates those in authority. You can be ‘exposed’ for asking too many questions, for disobeying the unspoken rules, or for disagreeing with authority. People are made public examples in order to send a message to those who remain. Others have phone campaigns launched against them, to warn their friends and others in the group about how ‘dangerous’ they are.” (p.76,77)
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7. Secretive
“When you see people in a religious system being secretive —watch out. People don’t hide what is appropriate; they hide what is inappropriate.” (p.78) “One reason spiritually abusive families and churches are secretive is because they are so image conscious. People in these systems can’t even live up to their own performance standards, so they have to hide what is real. Some believe they must do this in order to protect God’s good name. So how things look and what others think becomes more important than what’s real. They become God’s ‘public relations agents.’ The truth is, He’s not hiring anyone for this position.” (p.78)
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Johnson and VanVonderen believe it is imperative to refocus victims of
spiritual abuse on the truth about God and His “good news”. For this
reason, they offer a list of “reminders,” from the heart of God as
follows:
God loves us a great deal:
He is extravagant with His grace:
He makes us stand:
He can be trusted:
We have been made entirely new:
We have been handpicked:
We are blameless in His sight:
What is His is ours already:
God is not keeping track:
He doesn’t have a problem with our struggles and pain:
We don’t need to improve on what He’s done:
When we fail, Jesus defends us:
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fellow elder and witness of the sufferings of Christ, and a partaker also of the glory that is to be revealed, shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourself with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble (1 Peter 5:1-5). |
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Last update: 16 May 1997
http://geocities.datacellar.net/HotSprings/3658/subtle.html Copyright (c) Henry G. Sheppard 1997 |